Postcard from Freetown: “Hell yeah! It was all worth it”

I decided to take a break from my daily walk around the city of Freetown and rather try to listen to my intuition and reflect on all I have been through these past five months. I never started this year thinking I will be home so soon but as fate will have it, nemesis catch up with me and coming home was my last choice. As I ponder upon issues, my pen was close by me and the canvass was empty, I decided to write you a postcard that is quite unusual from what you have been reading and here is what I was able to pen down.

Clustered in the midst of fused confusion, in the naked space of where the non-existence of my fears resides to the place beyond the reality of my mind. I stand from a distance looking at the world between the shallow and polarized minds of society.

I laugh at the buffoonery of your fake smile, it makes me wonder why the deception, when we eat and sleep together in the same tent. Why the envy, when all that I have, is the produce of my hard work and talent? Why envy and why the hate? Why the arrogance when pride comes before a fall? It is astonishing to sometimes see the foolishness of the mind and at the same time the wisdom within it is enlightening.

I have grown from a boy to a man; it seems like yesterday or the day before. All the “bling, bling” and “big toys” I yearn for as a young lad I am now fed up of. I am still empty on the inside, a deep void and ache lingers on in my soul, as it dawn on me that “the simple things in life is all that matters and happiness is a state of mind, it does not depend on your possessions, fat bank account or on your boyfriend or girlfriend”. Happiness has to come from within, in other to achieve that, start doing you.

Ponder upon this for a minute… “Would society give you permission to be who you are without categorizing or tagging you by what they see? Must you live up to some image that society created for you to conform to? Can society accept the fact that you a combination of many different types of “dysfunctions” bound together within one house to make your imperfections perfect?”

Isn’t it amazing how brokenness in one area in our life can rob us of our rightful success and imprison us in a valley of regrets, a silent place where no one can hear our pain or ease our sorrow? I could have been… I should have been… He must have been… She must have been… I thought he was the man for me… I thought she was the woman for me rhetoric’s… What a hectic space to be in. I’ll say gather your loins, pick up the pieces and start again, it is never too late. I am doing it right now, painful but the reward I cannot wait to receive.

This is the reality; somethings won’t go away completely. They just won’t disappear. Therefore, I am proud to say that even our failures are successes! They represent the miracle that you and I have survived! Considering what you had to work with, the odds against you, though it looks like failure, we survived all of that and our survival is our success.

“Your position can overcome your condition”! But every time we have to silence our conditions because of our positions, our hidden wounds and problems begin to fester. We become angry and “throw” away everything we have. “In desperation, we make permanent decisions about temporary circumstances.” Circumstances that we would eventually outgrow if we have had someone to confide in. My spirituality has anchored me to the place of self-realization and purpose. I am open-minded and I now understand that my purpose is of greater essence than my “profession” or of any man or woman thoughts about me.

Life is more meaningful and short because now I appreciate the simple and little things that life offers me daily. The privilege to wake up every day, the opportunity to have a job (oh well, “I am jobless for now”) and for the fact that my body functions as a unit, is amazing. In all of this, I am still breathing in the midst of the human rat race and backstabbing.

Being grateful to all that I am and have, has released me to be free to pursue my destiny. Life is intriguing and unfair but the gift to rise up and face it every day is all that you have to make a difference. I am smiling because when I look back at this past five months of my life, since I left Johannesburg unannounced, I ask this question, was it really worth it? And the answer is, hell yeah, it was all worth it!

@DanteBello on Twitter.

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One Response to “Postcard from Freetown: “Hell yeah! It was all worth it””

  1. I love the way you self-express. Nice piece.

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