Silence will take me there
I walk in silence to find my lost self. I am becoming the solitary man standing and not moving, outmaneuvered and imprisoned by the illusions life throws at me.
I am working hard to stand on my two feet to resist myself from adhering to the expectations and labeling of this world. Allow me to impress myself first – I might consider seeing if I can impress you later – My advice, don’t wait up – “I intend to do me till eternity.”
In tumult, I wonder why I ever bother to live. Why must the world care about me? Why should they even come to my rescue, do I really need their sympathy? Maybe I am lost in apathy, trying to get attention like a golden sparrow that crows in the wee hours of the morning.
I am being judged by the clothes I wear, by the way I speak, the friends I have, the car I drive, the relationship I have, the way I write, by my spirituality – when being me is all I ask.
Society speaks all the time and they can’t stop talking. I can’t hold my tongue long enough not to say a word because silence is like an antique craft, hard to maintain.
I find peace in silence but harder to be consistent when there is a lot going through your mind – my loyalty to my purpose and the higher force that orchestrates my life is for sure certain – The creator so far has held His own part of the agreement, though I falter once in a while – for my ancestor, the debate is on.
The unknown I still can’t figure out but my problems are my responsibility. My weaknesses are for me to deal with. My failures are for me to come to terms with. My victories are my trophies. My failures I am learning from. My strength catalysis me to step up my game and face the challenges life throw at me daily.
In silence I wait for that inner voice for my next move, discerning the times and season though it might seem all blurred out but I am keeping still in silence.
Am I immortal? Does mortality truly exist? Where is the place of totality and mortality? Still searching!
How do I get there in the midst of this noise? What if I could buy a new start to my life and start all over again – would that make a difference?
My destiny is written by my own hands as I walk to the gate of the prophecy to fulfill it.
I am in search of the truth, my truth. Maybe silence will take me there.
@dantebello on Twitter
Raison d’être! 
September 8, 2011 at 4:36 am
Dante, this is beautiful and full of truth. I feel you and that matters. Uncovering truth can be painful and lonely. I can relate.
September 8, 2011 at 5:17 am
Your writing reflects a person that thinks about the meaning a nd purpose of life. It is difficult to always appear strong and full of confidence that you can lead the way. It is the eb and flow of a living soul. If your mind is in turmoil, something is waiting to be born! To get there you often just have to keep at what you are doing a little longer. In time like this it is good to read up on what other leading people do in such times, but finding a suitable mentor often proves difficult.
Rest assured feelings of turmoil also pass. Look inside – it may be times of hightened creativity. Keep on using it like you do and keep on writing!
September 8, 2011 at 4:01 pm
This is the fairest account of oneself I have read for sometime. You have clearly understood your own inadequacies and should certainly just accept your fate within them. The world is not offering anything and we should not be expecting it too. We will never find it. If we can just see what we have as enough, we must be able to eke out a reasonable existence. Barring that you do have a choice, at any point, to exercise your mortality. Good luck my brother.