Girl – One time is too many – Get Out!

It has been a while since I put a pen to paper, I am not really sure about why but definitely when I have the spasm of not writing most times it due to me getting all caught up in the current happenings around politics, social media trends or doing research for articles that are almost due as deadline dates come knocking.

There is a trend I have witnessed and observed in Freetown since I have been down here for a while now and it is sickening and calls for urgent attention that in the 21st century we still have men that blatantly abuse and molest women all in the name of tradition, culture and patriarchy.

So I decided to write this piece from my poetic side being all abstract with the hope that you’ll be able to relate as you read through, letting the words paint the pictures according to how you perceive the words therein.

Last night he raised his hands on her and apologized, yesterday he screamed at her, calling her names because she made error in preparing his food. Today he abuses her because she now accepts it as a cross she has to bear.

She wails in her pain and in loneliness, hiding the scars under her designer sunglasses, she wore full body clothes to hide the wounds on her body. It aches but she keeps quiet inside out. Pretending that everything is alright and that he will change, someday that started with weeks, days, months, and years and everyday it gets worse.

She is loyal and faithful but he raises his hands to her one too many times. Her self-esteem is battered and tattered, her pride as the glory of a man is taken away from her. The beauty that serenades the soul of her once beautiful mind and body is locked up by him and the keys thrown away to the unknown.

She is trapped and toggled in a triangle of, “I love him and he will change someday”. She is strapped in the moral sentiment with the idea that “We’ve gone through a lot and I have spent half a decade of my life with him and I can’t give that all up now”. She is tied up in the façade that “the devil you know is better than the one you don’t”.

She gets all flaccid, soft by his tears when he apologies because his sinewy body is wrapped around her and she opens up herself again to more torture. She hates and blames herself that she is the cause of his tantrums and tries to be selfless. Sacrificing all to make him happy but it all ends up in scars of emotions, physical pain, psychological trauma, depression and tears.

He blames it on the alcohol; he makes feeble excuses for his actions. He does not take responsibility because his ego claims ‘I am a man’, and she still succumbs through thick and thin until beaten to stupor. And now she is hospitalized because her soul, body and mind can’t take it anymore.

Take heed sisters as I write these potent words: Woman, you are a life giver, you are phenomenal and powerful.

Never stand for a man that will raise his hands on you. Never tolerate a man that will not celebrate you. Never open up for a man that will not bring out the best in you.

Never be with a man that will make you an option. Never give in to a man that will not nurture, cherish and respect the royalty in you.  Never allow a man to physically, psychologically, financially and emotionally abuse you.

Never entertain a man that is intimidated by your intelligence and success. Never allow a man to look or put you down in any way.

Never and never again be put in a box where you are not free to speak your mind or be heard, explore and live your life full. Never be with a man that is competing with you. Never again ‘coz it is one too many.

As I elapse into my thoughts, the virginity of soul is broken wide open in celebrating women and it’s my wish that in the future, women will have a voice, they will be celebrated, appreciated, loved and respected by the brotherhood.

It’s my incessant cry to see the emancipation of women to live their purpose in life.

It is my heartfelt wish to see women living life without holding bars or hiding within the four walls of a man’s home or otherwise, without being empowered to be independent and taking responsibility for their lives.

It’s my dream to see the emancipation of every woman in all facets of life living her dream and being loved with or without a man in her life.

Girl, it is one time too many – Get it out before late becomes a lifetime trap or you’ll end up dead.

@dantebello on Twitter


2 Responses to “Girl – One time is too many – Get Out!”

  1. Thank you!! I’m overwhelmed by the power of your words and just how few women recognise them as true in their own lives, this is deeply saddening.

  2. Thanks for Une – Strenght to the girl child and it is my desire that she shall overcome someday.

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